Ichijouji Ken and Ishida Yamato vs The World Cup
by xgossamerstars
Summary: Ken began to think that perhaps there was no 'former' to his evil genius. Taichi hid behind a pillow, shrinking away from Yamato's withering blue eyes.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Alas, I do not own Digimon...if I did, there would be a lot of shounen-ai going on.**

**A/N: This is just an idea that wouldn't leave me alone. Hey, Daisuke is obsessed with soccer, isn't he? It only makes sense that he would watch the World Cup. Please keep in mind that this is satirical...**

Ken was growing more and more certain that nothing he did was ever going to make Daisuke look up from his television set.

The former evil genius had tried everything--from screaming "FIRE!" to dousing his boyfriend in water, from dressing up in a sailor fuku to walking around completely naked.

Daisuke would not be moved.

Ken began to grow increasingly angry whenever he laid eyes on the offending televison. How dare it steal his Daisuke from him! How dare it broadcast anything that would make Daisuke ignore him (especially when he was completely naked)! What a despicable, disgusting, boyfriend-stealing appliance it was! He would teach it a thing or two...

...that is, once he had finished with Daisuke.

Now, Ken was not bigger than Daisuke. He was not stronger than Daisuke. He was, however, much smarter than Daisuke...

As Ken concocted his plan, he began to think that perhaps there was no "former" to his "evil genius". After all, 'uke' was plainly in Daisuke's name...

**xXx**

Daisuke refused to remove his eyes from the television. He was barely aware of Ken, although once he had felt an uncomfortable dampness in his clothes and hair. Still, the World Cup was more important than slightly moist clothing. Once, he did find himself wondering why on earth Ken was wandering around in a skirt, but at that moment Japan scored again and his mind asked him, "Ken who?"

Therefore, it came as a complete shock when he suddenly discovered that the formerly bright screen was entirely black. There was no tiny score box in the upper right hand corner, and therefore, Daisuke began to panic. What was he going to do? His entire existence depended upon that television screen!

He scrambled towards it, intent on discovering what had cut off his form of life support. It was not unplugged, and the cord was intact. Once, he hit the power button, and the screen sprang to life for one tantalizing moment before becoming black once more. Daisuke was finding it difficult to breathe now. He had to get to Taichi's...he knew that Taichi's existence depended upon the beautiful screen that brought them the World Cup just as much as his own.

He scrambled to his feet and reached for the doorknob, when an eerily familiar voice mumbled, "Nuh-uh-uh..."

He found that his wrist was encased in a grip not unlike that of a vise. He turned his head slowly, in order to see who would be foolish enough to deny him his soccer game, and promptly dropped his jaw.

There stood Ken, bare to thewaist with his jeans hanging scandalously low on his narrow hips, grinning so mischievously that Daisuke wondered if the Digimon Kaiser had been reawoken. Ken's violet eyes were narrowed to dangerous slits and his typically impeccable hair was ever so slightly mussed. Daisuke was tempted to forget that such a thing as the World Cup ever existed, until...

He saw it.

The remote in Ken's other hand.

"Ken," he said, very seriously, "Give me the remote, and no one gets hurt."

"That's what you think, Daisuke," Ken growled, and with that, he tackled Daisuke to the floor, landing expertly on top of him.

**xXx**

Taichi could usually count on Daisuke to talk with him about the World Cup, or any soccer game for that matter. He was the only other rabid soccer fanatic of the Chosen, since Ken had stopped playing. This time, however, Daisuke had no idea what happened during Japan's last game. He had no idea what had happened for several games, actually, which struck Taichi as quite odd. He wondered, as he told Daisuke the details, what on earth had kept Daisuke from the television...he also wondered why it was that Daisuke could not seem to sit comfortably.


	2. Ishida Yamato vs The World Cup

**Disclaimer: Do you see Daisuke and Ken making out with each other in the anime? Do you see Taichi and Yamato banging each other in the anime? No? Then I don't own Digimon.**

**A/N: I thought I should add a chapter for Taichi and Yamato. After all, Taichi was the original soccer freak.**

"Hey Yama," Taichi called from the living room, "Will you bring me another Coke?"

Yamato stood in the kitchen, wearing his pink apron, surrounded by smoking pots and up to his elbows in cake batter. His long, shaggy blonde hair was tied out of his eyes in a bandana, and there were spots of cake mix and another tasty food on his pale (now twitching) face.

However, his love (very deep, very patient love, mind you) for the crazy-haired boy got the better of him and he pulled his hands out of the sticky batter. He wiped them on a towel, retrieved a Coke from the fridge, and took it to Taichi.

"Thanks Yamato," he said, never once looking up from the big screen television in front of him. "Pity Japan lost, eh? Germany and Argentina are still playing, though...did you know that Daisuke had no idea what happened in Japan's last game? Actually he didn't know what had happened in a lot of the games...that's so unlike him, you know? Hey, when's supper gonna be ready, I'm starved."

The vein above Yamato's right eye throbbbed noticeably; Taichi, however, had not bothered to look at his boyfriend once (no matter HOW many Cokes he was brought), and missed this vital sign entirely.

"You've been cooking forever, Yama, it seems like you'd be done by now," Taichi remarked. The throbbing vein was now complete with angry red blush, but Taichi, oblivious, talked on. "You'd better hurry up and finish it before the game is over with, you know I have to call Daisuke and fill him in right afterwards. Hey, that smells good, Yama."

For once, Taichi tore his eyes away from the screen, intending to look into the kitchen where his supper was being prepeared. Unfortunately, Yamato was blocking his view. Now normally, Yagami Taichi, being a very seme-ly seme, did not make such feminine, uke-like sounds as, "Eep!"

However, Ishida Yamato's face at this particular moment was enough to make even the semeliest of semes want to eep. In fact, it was quite possible that it was frightening enough to make one curl into the fetal position, suck one's thumb, and cry.

Yagami Taichi did not curl up and cry, but he did eep. Yamato had never looked so absolutely terrifying. In fact, Taichi had never been sure that Yamato COULD look terrifying, at least until right now.

"I. Have. Been. Cooking. For. Six. Hours. And. All. You. Can. Think. About. Is. SOCCER?" Yamato thundered.

"Eep!" Taichi hid behind a pillow, shrinking away from Yamato's withering blue eyes. The soccer game on the television was forgotten in his panic to get as far away from Yamato's murderous gaze as possible.

"That's it," Yamato tore off his apron and bandana, threw them on the ground, stomping into the kitchen to turn off the stove. "You're in for it now, Yagami."

Taich shivered. "W-what do you mean, Yama?" he squeaked. Of course, it was a very manly squeak.

Ishida Yamato just grinned as he clutched Taichi by the collar. He towed panicking boy into the bedroom.

**xXx**

"Oh, hey, Taichi, Yamato," Daisuke grinned as he answered the door. Taichi walked inside, wincing slightly, followed by Yamato, who was grinning.

"What's the matter, Tai?" the younger boy asked. "You look like you're in pain."

"No, not at all," Taichi answered, rubbing the back of his head and smiling brightly.

"Oh, hello Taichi, hello Yamato," Ken said politely, as he wandered into the living room from his and Daisuke's bedroom. "Did you come over to watch the World Cup, Taichi?"

"NO!" Daisuke and Taichi chorused, waving their hands in front of their faces.

Ken glanced at Yamato at the same moment that Yamato glanced at Ken. The two boys began to smile.

"Great minds..." Yamato began.

"Think alike." Ken finished.


End file.
